On Sunday I was joined by Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi for a fiercely human dialogue we entitled “Falling in Love with Death.”
Jun Po is the 83rd Patriarch of his lineage of Rinzai Zen. He began his Buddhist practice at Zen Center San Francisco in the early ’70s, later becoming a student of Eido Shimano Roshi in New York and subsequently a monk. He received inka from Eido Shimano Roshi in 1992. Interested in bringing his Zen Rinzai lineage into American culture without the Japanese cultural elements, Jun Po left the monastery and founded the lay Buddhist Hollow Bones order, of which he is abbot. He also created Mondo Zen, which integrates processes for emotional maturity and insight with meditative awareness.
That’s Jun Po’s “official” biography as a Zen teacher. But he was also a wild hippie, a lover of many women (though now happily married), a Vietnam-era military man and a major LSD manufacturer hunted by the FBI — for which he served time in federal prison.
What I appreciate most about Jun Po, though, is not his wild, passionate, colorful past, but his willingness to step outside of his story into immediate contact with himself, the moment, and during our dialogue, with me. He invites in what people tend to hide — fear, dysfunction, confusion — all of which he’s confronted personally in his past experience with stage 4 throat cancer and most recently Parkinson’s Disease.
It’s precious when someone confronts mortality in the way that Jun Po now is, with a lifetime of spiritual practice, a deep witnessing capacity, and a drive to pass on the insights gained from his illnesses on to others. During our dialogue, he brought his real-time experiences to bear as we explored what it means to fall in love with death (actually he said it should be “standing” in love because “falling” in love, without awareness, can be dangerous!).
At times, he struggled to keep his voice audible which, he explained, took all the effort of shouting. This is one of the symptoms of Parkinson’s. He also suffers from neuropathy, a side effect of chemotherapy. There are times when his body won’t respond to his intentions, so he has accidents and falls. A studied Argentine tango dancer, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever dance a decent tango again with his wife, Mary. Yet, he still shows up to dance, inviting the grief and loss and discovering a deeper intimacy with the moment, and with his beloved.
Jun Po said the key to opening up to his circumstances and conditions, particularly the BIG, unavoidable condition of mortality, was radical self-acceptance. This is something he found on the other side of traditional Zen. Traditional Zen says to stay fiercely present. Don’t look away! Wake up! But after awakening, we are left with the psychological and emotional structures that were there before. And often these structures are damaged.
Zen didn’t address these “faulty” structures for Jun Po and many others which eventually led him to develop Mondo Zen. But it was through traditional Zen practice that he anchored the witnessing capacity to radically accept fear and confusion and gain clarity. This enabled him to let views and opinions fall aside leaving only the incredible intensity of awareness. From a nondual perspective, this intensity of experience is simply that — “not good, not bad.”
“Death is ‘boo-hoo’ from a relative perspective,” said Jun Po. “But from pure witnessing, it’s the gift of liberation. That’s ‘the Joke’.” He went on to offer the following profound reflections on compassion:
- When your heart breaks, it doesn’t break closed, it breaks open in unconditional love. This is a love that takes no prisoners. Our true nature of compassion gets filtered through our relative nature. Feeling is information which we often, in our ignorance, meet with violent reactivity. Thus deep care and incredible clarity of mind is expressed as anger. Excitement and opportunity manifest as fear.
- We don’t have sin, we have ignorance. When we realize the misinterpretation of feeling, compassionate nature takes over, including self-compassion. You can’t scream at your loved ones anymore. Not because you don’t want to, but because that reaction becomes inconceivable. We awaken to the myth of our own persona.
- Stay present in the face of absolutely everything. No one has ever shamed you except you. When we realize that we are responsible for our reactivity, our angst becomes our liberation.
It was a tender dialogue, during which I came into contact with my own sense of grief and loss about the aging process, as well as joy and gratitude for my connection with that which is beyond words (God). I wake up and reawaken, discovering freshly that which I have discovered so many times before; and yet always it’s a new moment.
I felt all of this relating to Jun Po, grieving with him, and listening to him “shout” his good news that “we are all dying. Celebrate!”
I invite you to listen in here.
Announcement
This Sunday, July 5th, at 10am Pacific, I’ll be joined by Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi for a dialogue we’ve entitled “Falling in Love with Death.”
Jun Po is the 83rd Patriarch in his lineage of Rinzai Zen Buddhism. He received inka from Eido Shimano Roshi in 1992 and went on to develop an innovative approach to Zen known as Mondo Zen which incorporates emotional maturity and insight with meditative awareness.
Our dialogue on Sunday will be a human conversation, a vulnerable exploration expanding from Jun Po’s own experience. Years ago, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer; more recently he’s been practicing with the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. “The shakes, the confusion, the indignities.…it’s dissolution I’m dealing with!”
What he has learned is the power of radical self-acceptance, including radical acceptance of the reality of his mortality. This has opened the door to a new level of clarity and discernment. He has been able to perceive life and death as inseparable. In doing so, he has “fallen in love” even with his own death.
Jun Po says, “Falling in love with my death has been the resurrection of my life!” He considers both his Stage 4 throat cancer and Parkinson’s disease as two huge gifts — and two great teachers.
This lesson is available to us all, says Jun Po, in the myriad array of physical and psychological pain that we each encounter. Properly understood and radically accepted, your pain will become your liberator. This doesn’t meant the end of life’s difficulties, or the end of pain (“ouch”), but rather the end of suffering (“boo-hoo”).
As we prepared for this dialogue, Jun Po and I spoke several times. We dropped below the level of our personas, our stories, and even our teachings. His existential rawness is powerful; his discovery is that he is awakening in a new way while staring directly into the eyes of “the great sleep,” often overwhelmed by “gratitude for the wild, wonderful, crazy life that I’ve had.”
He reflected that the title Beyond Awakening points us to this truth. An Awakening Enlightenment experience is the beginning of your transformation, not the end. Although his medical prognosis is for “6-10 years of miserable disintegration” he says, “I want to beat that by 20 years.” His practice is still unfolding. And that’s worth tuning in to!
Join us on Sunday to hear what Jun Po means when he says, “We are all dying. Celebrate!”
About Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi
Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi is the 83rd Patriarch of his lineage of Rinzai Zen. He began his Buddhist practice at Zen Center San Francisco in the early ’70s, later becoming a student of Eido Shimano Roshi in New York and subsequently a monk. He received inka from Eido Shimano Roshi in 1992. Interested in bringing his Zen lineage (Rinzai tradition) into American culture without the Japanese cultural bindings, Jun Po left the monastery and founded the lay Buddhist Hollow Bones order, of which he is abbot. He also created Mondo Zen which incorporates emotional maturity and insight with meditative awareness. He established Hollow Bones seven-day Zen retreats for the Mankind Project. As a yoga instructor Jun Po traces his lineage to BKS Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois.
HOW TO PARTICIPATE:
Sunday, July 5th at 10:00am Pacific; 11:00am Mountain; 12:00pm Central; 1:00pm Eastern
*Find Your Local Time
Please Note: There will be a limited number of lines available on the live conference call, so we encourage you to listen online if possible. To make sure you can get through by phone, we encourage you to dial in early.
ACCESS INSTRUCTIONS
- To listen live by phone, dial: 425-440-5100 (alternate #: 501-707-0312)
- Then, enter Access Code: 272072#
- To listen live online go to: http://iTeleseminar.com/70992399
- To download the audio after the teleseminar is complete go to the Beyond Awakening Audio Page
Join the Dialogue: About one hour into the dialogue, we’ll open up the lines and you’ll have the opportunity to interact with us directly over the phone or via instant message. Here’s what to do:
To interact live by voice, dial into the conference line number and wait until we ask for a question from someone in your region, or
Send us your question via instant message in the teleseminar window on your computer
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We look forward to your attendance!
Sincerely,
The Beyond Awakening Team